What if I can offer you a lifetime of hellos?

 

Taryn quickly assessed the weight of what Adrian’s devotion to them could and would offer her. Was she ready? Could she live a lifetime of the erotically laced, potent and extremely intense connection between them that caused her body to sizzle with the deepest desire at the mere thought of his touch? His kiss? His…everything? At the same time, she also had to consider what his reaction would be if he knew the secret from her past that was now coming back to haunt her thanks to a vindictive ex-boyfriend. Adrian was as close to perfection for her as any man could be. She wanted forever with him and all that it entailed. What she couldn’t handle would be his reaction or the way he would look at her if he knew what she’d done. Her fear of that is what gave her pause.

 

Her eyes rose up from the blank space on the red hardwood floor of his office that she’d been staring at to avoid his gaze. His eyes mesmerized her. She was locked in every time their stares met. When his gallant face came into view, she exhaled at the thought of the millions of questions that plagued her mind.

 

“No one can offer that with concrete surety. As you can see from my life, I’m always saying goodbye to those I care about the most.”

 

“Baby, there are some instances that are beyond our control. Your aunt once said to me that when your uncle passed away, she didn’t see it as a moment of goodbye, but as a time to declare that she would see him later. She never had any regrets because their time together was magical. I’m sorry that you’ve had so much hurt. I want to be the one to help take as much of that hurt away as I can.”

 

“What if I’m jinxed? What if I’m not supposed to be this happy forever? I’m afraid to say that I love you. Those I love, leave,” Taryn sorrowfully declared.

 

“I can patiently wait for those words to be said to me from you. I know how you make me feel. I know what love looks and feels like. Can you make me a promise?”

 

Taryn nodded. She would do anything for the man she wanted to love for a lifetime.

 

“What’s that?” 

 

“Focus on saying hello to me every day. When the day comes when your heart wants your mouth to say love because no other word will do, you won’t fight it. Just let it flow.”

 

“What if I’m afraid?”

 

“Then my love will be a fence around your heart. My heart will send your fear packing. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“You don’t know everything about me, Adrian. I have a past. I’m not proud of everything I’ve done in my life.”

 

Taryn wanted to make the promise. Her history of losing her parents and her parental figures, all of whom she loved with everything in her, brought not only fear, but doubt in her ability to have a lifetime of hellos. Most of all, there was her secret. Her past indiscretion was now back in her present. It came with threats against not only her image and her character, but also her relationship with him that could put all that he’s built in jeopardy. She cared too much for Adrian to have anything or anyone from her past come for her while also hurting him.

 

“I don’t care. It’s who you are now that has me captivated. I’m willing to risk anything. I’m that sure about us.”

 

“What if…”

 

She paused before telling him her truth. She couldn’t; not yet.

 

“Taryn, baby, no more what ifs. Promise me.”

 

She opened her mouth to say the word and instead, dread over losing him one day was all that her heart and mind could muster up. She couldn’t hurt him. She couldn’t embarrass him. She’d done something so stupid back in college that she never thought would come back as karma. She couldn’t risk it. Her heart loved him, though she couldn’t utter the words. Her body loved his and with the way he loved hers, there was no doubt that he was in deep with her. She wanted to get up and run into his arms while screaming yes to anything he asked of her.

 

Taryn’s heart raced. Her palms began to sweat. She knew that she truly loved him with everything in her. She could be left alone in the world if a threat ruined not only their love but any future they could possibly have. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if any part of her past marred Adrian’s present and future.

 

Standing, she walked toward his office door instead of over to him. She opened it and without looking back, she uttered words that she knew were going to cost her everything.

 

“I…I’m sorry, Adrian. I can’t make that promise.”

 

She left, leaving real, true love behind.